I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
You ruined the universe
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Randomize
