I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
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