you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Randomize
