That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
