porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
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