just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
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