Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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