Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Walk of Shame today included voting.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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