Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
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