i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize