Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
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