i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
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