we're blogging at a bar
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Randomize
