i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
organizing the empties. That sober.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
