my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
