I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
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