Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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