He disabled his match.com account in front of me
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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