Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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