Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
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