sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
