apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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