$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
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Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
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I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
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