I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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