so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
