Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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