Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Randomize
