i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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