She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize