hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
