My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
