she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Randomize
