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• (734): View more from Michigan

  11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.

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• (773): View more from Illinois

  Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"

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• (310): View more from California

  she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.

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• (716): View more from New York

  Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.

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• 

  These 25 Rude People Ruined Movies for Everyone Else

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (954): View more from Florida

  i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how

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• (406): View more from Montana

  he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten

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• (317): View more from Indiana

  why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?

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• (864): View more from South Carolina

  Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?

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• (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"

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  23 Cringeworthy Responses to “I Love You”

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• (310): View more from California

  When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.

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• (631): View more from New York

  I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance

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• (317): View more from Indiana

  I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.

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• (512): View more from Texas

  Come to this bar

  (1-512): View more from Texas

  But I'm full of food.

  (512): View more from Texas

  MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK

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• (918): View more from Oklahoma

  And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.

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• (203): View more from Connecticut

  Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?

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