Texts From Last Night

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  (248): View more from Michigan

  did you get my message about your dog?

  (1-248): View more from Michigan

  no... is he ok?

  (248): View more from Michigan

  no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry

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  (248): did you get my message about your dog? (1-248): no... is he ok? (248): no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry http://tfl.nu/keer
  Replies (16) Good night (752) Bad night (2961)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.

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  (248): Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks. http://tfl.nu/vf46
  Replies (89) Good night (1573) Bad night (22662)
• Favorite

  (716): View more from New York

  fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans

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  (716): fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans http://tfl.nu/906w
  Replies (155) Good night (8239) Bad night (2714)
• Favorite

  (256): View more from Alabama

  I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.

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  (256): I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism. http://tfl.nu/il3b
  Replies (20) Good night (1530) Bad night (5498)
• Favorite

  (863): View more from Florida

  In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us

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  (863): In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us http://tfl.nu/7cnb
  Replies (4) Good night (2434) Bad night (1108)
• Favorite

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.

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  (570): Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore. http://tfl.nu/xw8g
  Replies (17) Good night (1386) Bad night (3142)
• Favorite

  (917): View more from New York City

  I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.

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  (917): I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to. http://tfl.nu/px3a
  Replies (6) Good night (2039) Bad night (995)
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car

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  (617): we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car http://tfl.nu/ipv6
  Replies (3) Good night (2110) Bad night (747)
• Favorite

  (423): View more from Tennessee

  There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.

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  (423): There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears. http://tfl.nu/uyth
  Replies (3) Good night (1267) Bad night (642)
• Favorite

  (315): View more from New York

  Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check

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  (315): Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check http://tfl.nu/umxm
  Replies (7) Good night (968) Bad night (510)
• Favorite

  (765): View more from Indiana

  My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith

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  (765): My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith http://tfl.nu/fwgv
  Replies (2) Good night (747) Bad night (382)
• Favorite

  (440): View more from Ohio

  She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot

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  (440): She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot http://tfl.nu/ybed
  Replies (6) Good night (648) Bad night (865)
• Favorite

  (770): View more from Georgia

  I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.

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  (770): I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that. http://tfl.nu/srdm
  Replies (2) Good night (554) Bad night (364)
• Favorite

  (207): View more from Maine

  She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.

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  (207): She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head. http://tfl.nu/qg4m
  Replies (0) Good night (613) Bad night (347)
• Favorite

  (802): View more from Vermont

  It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind

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  (802): It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind http://tfl.nu/l4my
  Replies (1) Good night (227) Bad night (373)

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