the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
25 Disturbing Facts That Will Make You Question Everything
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
31 People Admit To Nasty Things They Do On The Reg
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night