We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
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