Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
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