Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize
