Apparently you make a good broom.
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
