her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Randomize
