Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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