i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
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