i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
My feet surprised me
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
