I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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