3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Randomize
