Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
So squirting runs in the family.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Randomize
