p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
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