It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
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Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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