i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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