Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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