I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
