it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
