i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
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