fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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