Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Randomize
