Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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