wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
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