Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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