these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
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