I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Randomize
