Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Randomize
