he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Randomize
